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Walking In Her Own Style

Sara the fearless. [Source – Pixabay]

Sara never thought of running the race. She lived in the moment, carrying all emotions in one potli (small packet), always responding quickly to the dancing wind.  

Pausing or stopping was also not her aim. Sara believed in action, her genre was action.  

That tarot card reader did say that her stars were tricking her for fun and times will change, that she should be ready to fight.

All Sara felt then was that a glitch is a glitch.  

Time changed and Sara started running the race. She didn’t realise it for a quarter and when she did, dismayed, she tried to pause the world.  

A year passed by on the calendar and Sara, at last, acknowledged it. You know she had to, her neighbours burnt firecrackers all night on the New Year’s Eve.

Sara understands the race better now, but she still loves walking in her own style.

When an obscure voice asked her what next, she confidently said, ‘wait and watch.’


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Fear of Fear

The parched land did give me an answer, but how? Doesn’t it fear barrenness? It answered me though I had to wait for hours and hours as I walked ahead, crossed that skeletal shape of an animal and at last saw a cactus flower blooming.

The falling sky did give me an answer, but how? Doesn’t it fear horizon? It answered me to just look up at it and smile. I felt like I was falling back or was I flying… The night sky presented me with a mystery, with the sparkling mystery. I smiled and realised that I have been smiling the answer all the while.

The elixir of life presents itself to me, but why? Doesn’t it fear absorption? It answered me by flowing and gushing and filling up the planet and mankind alike. By giving itself up, it prospered in all forms and all life. Every glass of water now tells me why.

The sun’s fire doesn’t burn anyone, but why? Doesn’t it fear the cold end? It answered me ferociously by reaching every nook and corner and nurturing every universe. The epitome of supreme action and fiery hope, it burned all the questions and answers, leaving a pure residue alive.

The wind carries all life on its shoulders, but how? Doesn’t it fear burden? It answered me not, rather played with kites, the dry leaves, someone’s scarf, whistling in the woods, chiming music all around, lightly o lightly giving life, life.

The grand truths, moulded in Nature, by Nature, don’t know any fear.

*

They support answers and questions, I support fear. Silently walking down the approved pathway, I never dare to face a fear. Walls of doubts, plastic wallpapers, radio playing endless talks in a loop, I sit and I walk at the same time in my automatic red shoes. When I stay absolutely quiet, I count it as a good conversation. Fear of everything rules a life.

But when death strikes, in the end or the beginning, it surpasses everything. Death comes without any motive or desire.

*

Fear of fear confuses me, shackles me, blindfolds me, stupefies me, breaks me… but oddly, never stops me to act.

If fear fears anything, it is action. Action requires knowledge. Knowledge gives you experience, experience makes you wise and a wise person fears nothing.

(This post is written in remembrance of Gin Gin Bandri, a little kitten.) 

WHAT COUNTS!

I blame myself for whatever is happening. For what we have made of the planet earth, for the cries that are both heard and not heard, for the tears that dry without an answer, for the ones who are hurt and the ones who fall. I blame myself for the natural disasters and the ones we humans gift ourselves. Through blaming myself I hope to do well, for myself and others; to be serious in a way that things don’t get serious and bad in future; to understand the responsibility of being a human-the most intelligent species so far.

I and my friend were talking about the natural calamity that hit Uttarakhand (North India); we ended in a spat. Not because she said that she was fed up with the zero reactions that came from the elite members of our society (though she is absolutely right to feel so) but because she ended with a dull expression- ‘Leave it.’ I pounded at her last comment and said that the ‘Leave it’ attitude was the reason behind all that was happening in the world.

Elite class is in minority and we how say ‘Leave it’ are in majority.  Individuals matter whether or not they hold a position in the society.

I believe that every single action (even of thinking) is responsible for something in the universe. Every little step of ours can change the look of what the universe will be in future. Yes, that big is the role we play, that is why it becomes our duty to develop our intellect so as to understand this role. It doesn’t mean to be whatever one feels when the term duty is discussed but it means a joy ride. Joyous only if you can feel the universe, if you know the vastness of the universe and the tininess of yours in it; if you can recognise your essence in it. For this you don’t need the material richness, leave also the spiritual richness aside for some time, all you need is ‘you.’

Do you know yourself? Why don’t you talk to yourself? Why the hesitation? Talking to oneself is disturbing because then many things stand against you and your personality; things that compel you to change yourself and we all know that self-mastery is the most difficult to achieve. Will not the world change if every one of us is a little better than we are now?

I call this process of knowing myself joyous simply because I’ll then know myself truly.

And in blaming myself I am not creating a burden but rather I am giving myself an opportunity to do something more than complaining, no matter how small that action is. It counts!