I blame myself for whatever is happening. For what we have made of the planet earth, for the cries that are both heard and not heard, for the tears that dry without an answer, for the ones who are hurt and the ones who fall. I blame myself for the natural disasters and the ones we humans gift ourselves. Through blaming myself I hope to do well, for myself and others; to be serious in a way that things don’t get serious and bad in future; to understand the responsibility of being a human-the most intelligent species so far.
I and my friend were talking about the natural calamity that hit Uttarakhand (North India); we ended in a spat. Not because she said that she was fed up with the zero reactions that came from the elite members of our society (though she is absolutely right to feel so) but because she ended with a dull expression- ‘Leave it.’ I pounded at her last comment and said that the ‘Leave it’ attitude was the reason behind all that was happening in the world.
Elite class is in minority and we how say ‘Leave it’ are in majority. Individuals matter whether or not they hold a position in the society.
I believe that every single action (even of thinking) is responsible for something in the universe. Every little step of ours can change the look of what the universe will be in future. Yes, that big is the role we play, that is why it becomes our duty to develop our intellect so as to understand this role. It doesn’t mean to be whatever one feels when the term duty is discussed but it means a joy ride. Joyous only if you can feel the universe, if you know the vastness of the universe and the tininess of yours in it; if you can recognise your essence in it. For this you don’t need the material richness, leave also the spiritual richness aside for some time, all you need is ‘you.’
Do you know yourself? Why don’t you talk to yourself? Why the hesitation? Talking to oneself is disturbing because then many things stand against you and your personality; things that compel you to change yourself and we all know that self-mastery is the most difficult to achieve. Will not the world change if every one of us is a little better than we are now?
I call this process of knowing myself joyous simply because I’ll then know myself truly.
And in blaming myself I am not creating a burden but rather I am giving myself an opportunity to do something more than complaining, no matter how small that action is. It counts!
