Chess

 

My turn…well Miss my turn started long back when I moved my Pawn two steps forward.

 

I have been calculating that in an attempt to get my Bishop in the twelfth move, you’ll definitely charge at my poor, innocent and a bit careless Pawn sitting on b3 and that is why…holy god, just because of that I took my Rook to the third rank and you…you ruthless being…is this just a game for you? Ah!

 

And now, what are you trying to do? This is not a casual move, advancing your Knight to e4…what should I do? Hey! King, wake up dude…I am fighting this battle for you.

 

And dear Queen, don’t mind but I think you are afraid of the gorgeous Black Queen…she has taken some bold steps…our brave little Pawn, may his soul fight the dead Black Pawns fiercely down there and show them no mercy…no mercy!

 

But we have to focus, dear Queen, if you are jealous of her, knock her down and listen, all the Pawns, don’t leave the field without blood on your swords.

 

Ahm! Respected Bishops and Knights and others (I am angry with the Rooks and hence I am not going to address them directly, it is because of them that more of our people are down)….

 

I simply nodded. See…did anyone notice? I knew it, she is trying to read my mind. Oh! Oh! Relax! Shanti Om!

 

Yes! I think I should take my Knight to 6f…bold!

 

My friend, listen to me, I know it is a bold step but just see, my Bishop and that Pawn will be guarding it, and actually it is not that risky a position.

 

And I have to show her, you know, that look Miss you better back up, I am as brutal as Brutus (I am not getting personal here Mr. Brutus, but now that is what you have earned). Oh! She is yawning now! Clever! Come on, come on dear Knight….

 

I smiled…a sweet grin; I know my expressions, my left eyebrow rises every time I put up my victory smile.

 

Ha! So, finally she is thinking hard, she looks confused…good for me. I am sure she will bring forth the Queen now or nothing less than the Bishop.

 

I have read a lot about this game Miss…you will be defensive now. Psychology is involved in everything, this game is…what…a Pawn! A Pawn?

 

There is something wrong here. A Pawn! And she didn’t take that long…oh…it’s my Knight she wants. Hmm! Hmm! Hmm!

 

(A long pause) Hmm!

 

Oops! Why, why do I always make my opponents comfortable with the idea that I am confused and that is why it’s taking too long?

 

Wait! Ha-ha! Rook, after all you want to make up for your hasty decisions…good.

 

Rook to d6…yes Miss, I am challenging you now. What about her sly Black Bishop? Na, it will take three moves for the Bishop to get me. Yes!

 

I have surprised her. She just can’t believe it. Hah!

 

I think she has a habit of  thinking out loud. Poor girl! What will she do now? Her King looks as bewildered as she is right now.

 

Maybe she will fight with her Queen or her Rooks…but the latter ones just stand in every game that I have played with her.

 

She definitely knows that her only Bishop can’t do much…wait…when did her Knight reached f3…and her silly, stupid, puny Pawn reached h3?

 

Where is my rascal Rook! Oh!